3 Reasons Why You Secretly Want Her Life

February 13, 2020


Despite hearing the grass is not always greener on the other side, women are good for secretly imagining themselves flourishing in the life and path of the women around them.


Why is this? We know nothing good can from what Iyanla Vanzant considers ...the act of violence against the self.


So, I dare to ponder some of the reasons why we (you) can't resist desiring the path of another women.  

1. Her path looks more appealing.

Ladies be honest, we like glitz and we like glamour. The only thing we love more than this is having a life, career and/or purpose that shines brighter than the woman next to us. We'll even settle for just as bright if it means we don't have to feel invisible in the world around us.

Sadly, there's no guarantee your desire to be in the lime light will be honored. Your lane may call for you to solely operate behind the scene or in an area that is less visible than the woman next to you.

Does this make you and your addition to the world less important? Unequivocally not! The back of the house is just as vital as the front of the house. They just serve in equal, yet unique ways.

2. Her path looks doable.


You may think you can do just about anything you set your mind to, but I'm here to tell you that it cost to be the boss. Everything looks doable until you stand close enough to see the depths of her investment, and the cracks and deficiencies of her personal journey.


Until you walk in her shoes, you'll never know what it takes to do what she does because you don’t know what it takes to be her on a daily basis. Even if she shared her secrets to success you'll never be able to do it exactly like her.


3. Her path looks easy.


There are women who climb the corporate and social ladder so effortlessly (in your eyes) that it causes you to believe what she's doing is easier than what you're doing.


Before you switch gears, have you considered the fact that it appears easy  because 1. She's called and gifted to do it, 2. She's been doing it for a long time, and 3. She loves what she's doing and it’s not work to her?


Could it be, from where you’re standing it very well looks easy solely because she's flawlessly operating in her vein? 


I can almost guarantee if you were to survey that woman, she'd tell you about several problematic things she experienced that only seemed easy to someone on the outside looking in, but was difficult to personally overcome. Maybe then, you can see it's more difficult than it appears.


Whether you do it for these reasons or a laundry list of others, comparing yourself to another woman will always leave you evaluating your substance, position and purpose of existence.


And if just by chance you find that her grass is greener, keep in mind that it's probably because she spends her time investing in it's growth rather than peeking over her neighbors fence.




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